411 | Tag Archives: innovations

Miller HIGH LIFE INNOVATIONS

DECROSSIFIER. For some folks (no one we personally know) leg- crossing is a bad habit. The Decrossifier gently trains away those magnetic knees, un-sophisticating the crosser and thus making him more eligible for the High Life.

HIGH LIFE INNOVATIONS

Pinky RESTRAINT. I’m hoity toity fancy pants and you are all unworthy of my company. Yes, one little finger can say all that. But now there’s help. For those afflicted with an uppity digit there’s the new Pinky Restraint from High Life Innovations.

HIGH LIFE INNOVATIONS

BRITISHNESS CORRECTOR. Now even those genetically predisposed to snootiness will have a chance to live the High Life. Intricate circuits convert the uppity condescension of the Queen’s English into the less grating American vernacular. Nobody wants to hear what you have to say, Chauncey. And now they won’t have to.